If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
