So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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