This is not my ceiling
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
