I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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