Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
