Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
