If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
