Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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