making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize