am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
PANTIES FOUND
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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