Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
