What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
and you fell through a lawn chair
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
