My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just took my morning after pill in the library
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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