No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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