do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
