Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
