Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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