I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I FOUND THE LEGS
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
