Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
