Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wear drunk well.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
