Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
