Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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