She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
