ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
