if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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