Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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