brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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