Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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