My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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