Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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