You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
