Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
