it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
