he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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