u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
