his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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