My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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