The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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