and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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