come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I looked at my own cervix.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
