i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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