i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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