I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just found a bag of teeth...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
