i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
