I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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