Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
