dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
either way he was missing a nipple.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
