you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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