I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
