Please, let me fuck your mom
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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