I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
