Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
