kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
