Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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