The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
