no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How does one acquire holy water?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
