And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
