..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
