M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
