oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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