Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
