sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
