i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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