...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
